Miami, Florida: February 9, 2003 (Part 1)
Tridandisvami Sri Srimad Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja
I want you to come with me now to Nandagaon,
where Krsna has sent Uddhava on a golden chariot. Uddhava arrived in
the darkness of night, and therefore hardly anyone saw him. He went
to the home of Nanda Baba and Yasodamaiya, and after his discussion
with them, Nanda Baba and Yasodamaiya began to roll on the earth
devoid of all external consciousness. He tried to console them
throughout the night, but instead of being consoled and pacified,
their separation mood became more and more high so he could not
help them. Then, in the morning, he went to what is now called Krsna
Kunda or Uddhava Kyari, which is very near to Nandagaon. He took his
bath there and performed his ahnik (utterance of the gayatri
A siddha (perfect) devotee like Uddhava does
ahnik three times a day, and you must try to follow him. If you do
not chant and meditate on your gayatri mantra, Gopal mantra, and
other mantras given by your guru, how will you develop a relation
with Krsna? It is certain that you will not be able to advance.
Even Krsna, Ramacandra, and Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu chanted three
times a day. Early in the morning they took their baths and chanted.
Do not forget this. Do not neglect this; otherwise you will become
more and more weak.
When Uddhava finished his ahnik,
the sun was about to rise.
bhagavaty udite surye
drstva ratham satakaumbham
kasyayam iti cabruvan
["When the godly sun had risen,
the people of Vraja noticed the golden chariot in front of Nanda
Maharaja's doorway. 'Who does this belong to?' they asked."
The gopis began
discussing with each other about the chariot. One gopi said, "A
brilliant golden chariot is here. Who brought it? This is very
dangerous. We saw a similar golden chariot on which Akrura came and
took Krsna and Baladeva away from us, and now they live in Mathura.
We heard that Kamsa was killed, so perhaps this chariot has come
because of that." In Indian Vedic culture, twelve or thirteen days
after someone dies, his relatives perform a samskara and make an
offering of oblations called pinda-dan. This is true especially in
Gaya, where Mahaprabhu went to offer pinda to His father. Pinda is
made of rice and other food substances, and it is offered to the soul
who has left his body.
The sakhi continued, "Perhaps
today is the twelfth day, and Kamsa's relatives want to give him some
pinda-dan. Kamsa's relatives probably cannot manage to get that pinda
in Mathura, so they have come to Vraja. They must know that we gopis
will die without Krsna. They must know it will be very easy to take
our hearts to be used for making some pinda-dan to offer to Kamsa's
Another sakhi said, "You know, Krsna has now
become the King of Mathura. Now He's not a cowherd boy; He's not
raising cows. Now He's a king and He has sent His messenger on this
golden chariot. Why? He wants to give this message: 'O mother Yasoda,
O Vrajavasis, do not think that I am still a cowherd boy. Here I am
not grazing any cows like a servant. Now I am the king and monarch of
all Mathurapuri.' That is why He has sent a messenger just to say
to His mother and father and others: 'Now see how wealthy I am. I am
so wealthy that I can send even a low class messenger on a golden
chariot.' He has sent this messenger only to show off His opulence
to all of us."
Hearing the gopis' words, Uddhava
began to think, "Oh, I have done wrong! I have come to console them,
but I have come on a golden chariot! O Earth, please divide into two.
I want to go inside you. Why did I come here? I could not
discriminate between what is proper and what is not. Now, what should
Uddhava repented in that forest of Kadamba Kyari
or Uddhava Kyari. Kadamba kyari means that forest which is filled
with many thousands of rows of kadamba trees. After he heard this
song of the gopis, lamenting and sometimes chastising Krsna and
calling Him "black cheater" and other abusive names, this place
became known as Uddhava Kyari.
tam viksya krsanucaram vraja-striyah
pitambaram puskara-malinam lasan-
su-vismitah ko 'yam
kutas ca kasyacyuta-vesa-bhusanah
sarvah parivavrur utsukas
["Sukadeva Gosvami said:
'The young women of Vraja became astonished upon seeing Lord Krsna's
servant, who had long arms, whose eyes resembled a newly grown lotus,
who wore a yellow garment and a lotus garland, and whose lotus-like
face glowed with brightly polished earrings. "Who is this handsome
man?" the gopis asked. "Where has he come from, and whom does he
serve? He's wearing Krsna's clothes and ornaments!" Saying this, the
gopis eagerly crowded around Uddhava, whose shelter was the lotus
feet of Lord Uttama-sloka, Sri Krsna.'" (Srimad Bhagavatam 10.47
All the gopis saw this servant of Krsna and
thought, "Perhaps His messenger has come. How very beautiful he is!
Kanja locanam his eyes are like lotuses. Pralamba bahum and he
has long arms. Pitambaram He is dressed in yellow cloth.
Puskara-malinam and he wears a large vanamala garland. Mukharavindam
parimrsta His lotus face glows with brilliant earrings and He
Himself is very beautiful. It seems that he is a second Krsna."
Prema has its own 'etiquette'. When the gopis are mad
in a mood of separation, they will embrace a tamal tree; laughing and
joking and thinking, "Krsna is here." When they see a cloud or some
darkness, they embrace it and begin to laugh and joke and perform
pastimes with it. Here, in this regard, Uddhava looks like Krsna.
Krsna has given him His own pitambara and His own vanamala garland.
The scent of Krsnas body has a special kind of beautiful fragrance,
and this fragrance emanated from the vanamala and pitambara. The
gopis were wondering, "Who is he, and why has he come here? It seems
that he may be a messenger or servant of Krsna."
second sakhi asked, "How do you know?"
replied, "Our eyes can cheat us, but our nose cannot. Our nose can
smell the fragrance of Krsnas body. Everything that belongs to
Krsna, including His pitambara, murali flute, and His vana-mala, is
scented with His fragrance. Krsna's body is more fragrant than beli,
cameli, jui, and any other flower. O sakhi, I know He is syam
(black), but not Syama he is black, but not that black Krsna. Who
is he? It must be Krsna's servant."
began to say, "Sakhi, you know, He has sent this messenger, but for
what purpose? Why is that messenger coming to us? He should go to
Nanda bhavan to the house of Nanda Baba and Mother Yasoda because
they have a blood relationship with Krsna. We have no blood
relation. Even if a son does something against his mother and
father, and even if he is far away, a blood relation will not be
destroyed. It is forever for the extent of his whole life and no
one can change it. But we have no such relationship with Krsna. From
the beginning He accepted, and we accepted, that there is some
relation; but if Krsna has forgotten this now, then we have also
given it up. Our relation was not a blood relation, so why is he
coming here? He should go to Krsna's parents to console them. We are
not Krsna's and Krsna is not ours."
smaraniyam na caksmahe
muner api su-dustyajah
["We see nothing
else He might consider worth remembering in these cow pastures of
Vraja. Indeed, the bonds of affection for one's family members are
difficult to break, even for a sage. Otherwise we are not seeing any
reason that he is coming to us." (Srimad Bhagavatam 10.47.5)]
Even if one is a muni or in the renounced order of sannyasa,
when he remembers his mother, his mother will also remember him.
Suppose a mother is sitting at home and her son is miles away. Still,
when the waves from her heart develop, it will reach her son. Or, if
the son is deeply remembering his mother or beloved, the current will
touch the loved one and both will realize each other's hearts. But we
do not have this type of relation with Krsna. Our relationship with
Him was such that there would be a relationship only if we would both
accept it; otherwise there would be no relationship.
the gopis spoke, their hearts melted and their eyes were full of
tears and Uddhava was listening to their conversation.
One gopi told Uddhava:
pumbhih strisu krta
sumanahsv iva satpadaih
shown toward others towards those who are not family members is
motivated by personal interest, and thus it is a pretence that lasts
only until one's purpose is fulfilled. Such friendship is just like
the interest men take in women, or bees in flowers." (Srimad
"Uddhava, we want to ask you some
questions, but we don't know if you will be able to answer them. You
should answer them. If love and affection is selfless and pure, it
never breaks. I think that Krsnas love was selfless, and it did not
have even a scent of selfishness. We were also selfless; we had very
pure prema, and we never wanted anything from Him. He always wanted
to please us and we wanted to please Him. But, Uddhava, can you tell
why this pure love and affection has now broken?"
Uddhava was simply scratching his head; he could not answer. Without
the help of the gopis no one would be able to answer. This question
is very high and only those who have pure love can realize its
A gopi continued, "Uddhava, why don't you
answer? We are asking something, and you should answer. There are
two kinds of love and affection. One is pure, more so than gold, and
the other is selfish.
nihsvam tyajanti ganika
akalpam nrpatim prajah
["Prostitutes abandon a penniless man,
subjects an incompetent king, students their teacher once they have
finished their education, and priests a man who has remunerated them
for a sacrifice." (Srimad Bhagavatam 10.47.7)]
take the example of a prostitute. Outwardly they show great love and
affection for a wealthy person. He may be black or very ugly, but if
he is wealthy such prostitutes will show him so much love and
affection as though their love was pure. However, as soon as they
take all the wealth of that rich person, they give him up at once."
At this point Uddhava was not saying anything. He wasn't even moving
his head. He was only hearing.
[To be continued in the
Advisor: Sripad Brajanatha dasa
Editor: Syamarani dasi
Transcriber and typists: Vasanti dasi and Anita dasi