You should have full faith in Gurudeva. If one has no faith, he will not realize anything, and if one has full faith in Gurudeva, everything will be revealed...
After hearing from the gopis, and especially after hearing Brahmara-gita from Srimati Radhika, Uddhava was astonished. He was especially astonished to hear and see Srimati Radhika's divyonmada, of which citra-jalpa is one of the features, and which is one of the symptoms of Her adhirudha-modana-mahabhava.
If someone unknowingly mixes with a worldly person who has many desires for worldly sense gratification, he will be influenced by that person's qualities. Similarly, though not knowing the glorification of sadhu-sanga, if one associates with sadhus, his life will soon change...
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