San Diego, USA, December 21, 2000, pm
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] I wanted to discuss so many things, so lot of things. I wanted to discuss Srimad-Bhagavatam from beginning to end, even Caitanya-caritamrta from beginning to end. Or Bhakti-rasamrta-sindu, Ujjvala-nilamani, so many things I wanted to discuss, but in short time I cannot.
[Brajanatha dasa:] You will have to come back.
[Devotees:] Gaura-premanande! Haribol!
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] So many deep subjects are to be discussed. Something to be done first.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja tells one devotee.]
You should stand up and come here. You should promise first that if there will be no neck-beads, I will not drink water. Promise. Tell, tell, in front of all.
I will not take water, food, anything if this is not in my neck.
[Devotee:] I will not drink water or eat food unless I wear Tulasi.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] Always keep in mind. Even I will not go to make urine or passing stool even.
[Devotee:] I promise.. I promise that I will...
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] This is my daksina. You should promise and strength will come. Now, don't give up. For all I'm telling, not only for him.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja gives kanti-mala and embraces devotee.]
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] Don't forget. Now in my council you have come. Try to be a very high class of devotee. You are so much qualified in all arts. So many arts. I want to take your energy and develop your Krishna consciousness.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] I may take you with me in my tour, so you should be ready.
[Srila Narayana Maharaja announces names of new initiates]
[Srila Narayana Maharaja tells some devotees who had been taking siksa from one sannyasi, to respect that sannyasa as guru, and to see him as their siksa-guru.]
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] In Vaisnavism sincerity is the main thing. If there is no sincerity, then learning and everything is like zero.
[Names continues to be given out.]
[Srila Narayana Maharaja:] Try to be very strong. Don't be weak. And always chanting, remembering. First chanting and then taking water, any maha-prasadam. At least five rounds should be done before taking any water or maha-prasada. Better you are chanting sixteen rounds and then taking water, prasadam. Better. And thus it will be more better if you are chanting thirty-two rounds and then taking water. And thus you should go on. Give importance to name and hearing hari-katha. If we have no taste in name-chanting and hearing hari-katha, your everything is like zero. So you should try to be like that. Don't deviate. Be very bold and strong.
Sometimes we are very worried. How will we maintain our family, also worried for ourselves? Very worried. What is the meaning of this? That you have no belief in Krishna. If we are worried for anything in this world, what is this? What will be of this? Then you have no strong belief in Krishna. Krishna has told, "Believe Me." If Krishna is our protector, savior, and He is nourishing and supporting us, then why be worried? He knows everything. Even you don't know yourself, but He knows everything. So why worry? Arjuna was not worried when Krishna instructed him Gita. Never he became worried. Prahlada Maharaja was not worried about what will be in future. Never. He surrendered himself. If you are a surrendered soul, you are surrendering to Krishna, Krishna will save you, He will nourish you. He is all-powerful, all-mighty. And He knows past, future, and present. So you should surrender to Him. Don't tell that, 'You should give me this that.' He knows everything, what you require.
There was a brahman, whose name was Sudama. He was a student friend of Krishna. When Krishna and Balarama were given to the gurukula of Sandipani Muni, then Sudama brahman was also there and he was admitted in the gurukula of Sandipani Muni.
So Krishna and Sudama were very bosom friends at that time, school friends. They were studying. Once, the wife of gurudeva told that, "Now cloudy day is coming. It may rain. No woods, fire woods. I want that you should collect some woods before rain." It was evening and both Krishna and Sudama went to forest. Perhaps you all know this story.
After that, heavy rain came, no stopping. Whole night, all the fields and all the places were full of water. Anyone cannot imagine how much water. They collected the fire woods, and they made a bundle and took both on their heads. Whole night standing, their bodies were wet with water, but they were sheltering the woods for guru service. They were taking care of woods that they would not be wet. Anyhow; under tree or anyhow. Whole night. They could not think that, 'How can we go?' All way was full of water. In the morning, in the dawn, gurudeva came in with lantern and calling, "O Krishna! O Sudama! Where you are?"
Then Krishna and Sudama replied, "We are here, Gurudeva. We are here."
And gurudeva came and he saw that still they had bundles on their heads. "Whole night, what you were doing?"
"We were standing, because there was no way to return home."
"Oh, I am very happy." Everything came into their hearts. "All the knowledge of Vedas I am inspiring in you, and you should be expert in 64 kinds of arts and learning." And at once, miracle, everything came in their hearts. Then they return to gurukula.
After some time they returned to their homes. Krishna came to Mathura and from there He went to Dvaraka. And Sudama also returned to Dvaraka and he was married. Very beautiful lady. Very beautiful and lovely. After some time Krishna came to Dvaraka and He became king of Dvaraka. But that brahmin, how he was: niskincana, akincana, having nothing that this is mine. He used to beg something someday. Always chanting, remembering Krishna, reading Vedas, Upanisads, sastra. He was not worried for his maintenance. His wife, also very high class of devotee. She became lean and thin. Sometimes he used to beg and give to his wife, and she used to cook and give something to Sudama Vipra. And her husband used to take only one or two handfuls of prasadam and the rest he used to give to his wife.
This lady became old in young age, and this Prabhu, Sudama Vipra, only skeleton was there, bones were there, nothing else. The breasts of that lady, she became like old, all were dried, and symptom of old age was coming, because no prasadam, nothing.
One day she requested Sudama Vipra, her husband, "I heard that your friend, very bosom friend, school friend, Krishna, is the king, emperor of Dvaraka. Can you go there?"
"Why should I go? I will not go."
"I request you, you should go. And if you will go there, He is brahmana-deva, well-wisher of brahmins and you are brahmin. He will give you everything of your life."
"I don't know. I don't want to go for these things."
But again and again she was requesting. Why? Not for her, but for her husband because he was high class of devotee. So she requested him, "Anyhow you should go." When she was requesting him again and again, he thought, "It will be gainful. I will have the darsana of Krishna. For this I can go. But not for begging anything from Krishna. He knows everything. Past, future, and present. Why to be worried? Nothing to beg from Him. So anyhow I will be benefited. I will go there and I will take darsana of the lotus feet of that Krishna. Very good, I will go. But give me something that I can give to Krishna. A presentation." There was nothing in her house that she could give to Krishna. She went to her neighbor's house and brought some broken rice, and she gave it in a dirty cloth because there were no good clothes. She wrapped and gave it, very little. But Sudama was sighing so much. "How I can give this presentation to Krishna? He is emperor of whole world and He is king of whole universe, Himself Supreme God. He has some conception." Anyhow he took it and kept where? In this pocket. [Maharaja points to his armpit indicating a pocket there] Because skeleton was only there. Like a hole.
Whole day walking, walking, walking, walking, miles and miles. In the evening he reached there and he was so much tired. So he went there and he asked, "Where is Krishna, can you tell?" There were 16,108 royal palaces, like same. Anyone cannot say where is Krishna, all were like same. And all were so decorated with opulence everywhere. Everyone like gold palaces. And he asked, "Where should I go?" Any person told, "You should go to Rukmini's house. There He will be. Then he asked, "Where is Rukmini's palace?" Then someone came.
There was very restriction to go there. But for brahmins and devotees, no restriction, nothing, no ban. Krishna had given order that, "Any devotee, any brahmin, high class of brahman will come. You should bring directly where I am. Even if brahmins are doing some nonsense, violating rules and regulation of this varnasrama dharma, even, don't punish, don't do anything, they are out of control of anyone in this world. They should always be respected."
So very easily he came. And when he was on the door, Krishna was sitting on the bed of Rukminidevi. There Satyabhama, Rukmini, and all other queens of Krishna were fanning with camara. Making tambula, betel nuts and giving to Krishna. All were there, engaged in the service of Krishna. But from far away He saw, "Oh, My friend is coming." He stood up and run away weeping, with tears. And He addressed Sudama, "Svargatam! Svagatam! Welcome, you should come." He embraced him, weeping, and then took him in the palace of Rukmini and He sat down, and He, by force put him on the bed of Rukmini. And He brought water, water with fragrance, with candana, with so many things. All the queens were very moved. Krishna was washing the feet of His friend, and very beautiful rose water and so many things.
How he was? Queens were thinking, 'Who is this man? Krishna has given His own seat to him and He is sitting down and washing the feet.' Feet were how beautiful? Cracked. And only skeleton. Here, here, here, only bones.
In young age he was like Krishna, but now hairs somewhat white and old. He was looking like old. All were thinking, "Who is this person?" What Krishna was doing, all were wondering. After that Krishna and Sudama Vipra were talking to each other. Sudama Vipra was thinking whether 'He recognizes me or not? Why Krishna is doing so?' He was in wonder. And all the queens were like this.
Krishna saw his doubt. He told, "My friend, do you remember the same thing in our gurukula that one day our gurudeva's wife asked for some woods, and we were in wood, and how gurudeva came in the morning, calling "Krishna! Sudama!" And he gave all his knowledge, everything to us. Do you remember? And the whole night standing in the rain there?"
Then, "Oh, yes, Krishna knows, He remembers, and knowing that I am very same Sudama."
The whole night passed. All the queens brought some sweet preparations, and Sudama Vipra and Krishna also, both, at the same place, they took prasadam. And all queens were serving. So whole night it went. Krishna then took him into bedroom and they slept also. When morning came, Sudama Vipra took bath, Krishna also. Up to 6am when sun was going to rise, Sudama Vipra said, "Oh sakha, oh friend, now I want to go to my home because my brahmani is alone and she is helpless. She must be waiting for me. Please allow me to go there."
Krishna told, "Yes, you can go." He gave nothing.
In the night, when Krishna was there, Krishna told, "I think that My sister-in-law, my baabi..." Baabi, very good word. Baabi means wife of brahmin. Krishna is telling, "You are My elder brother and your wife is My baabi, related to Me. She must have sent some presentation for Me. Can you give Me? What she has sent? Surely she has sent."
But Sudama was shy, thinking, 'How I can give this?' But Krishna knew and He took from here (armpit), forcibly He took and He opened. And with love and affection He took one mouthful. Second He was going to take, but all the queens at once stopped by taking the hands of Krishna. "Oh, by this You have given everything to this brahmin, now by second You want to give us too. Don't do. You can give anything by one hand, but don't give us." And thus He was checked.
What was that? No rasa, broken, no juice, nothing, not sweet. And Krishna, emperor of whole world, Supreme Lord, He was very happy to take it because His devotee had brought it. So if anyone will bring anything to the supreme master Krishna, or to his gurudeva, He must take. He is bound to take. It may be anything, rotten or not. Even a grass, even a flower, oh, He cannot reject. Sometimes His associates can reject, "Oh, very bad thing." But He will not. He will tell, "Anyone bringing anything, you must give to Me." So Krishna was very happy to take. But openly He never gave anything.
So in the morning Krishna was going with him up to border of Dvaraka. They were going and speaking so much hari-katha, pastimes of Krishna, and this and that. But Krishna never told that, 'I am giving anything.' In India this is rule and regulation. If a relative is coming, at least one sari or one dhoti, colored with yellow and with some coin in the belt of that, and some sabari, betel nut, all should be given to that person. Even you can give five rupees no harm, but something should be given, at least one dhoti. But Krishna gave nothing. Nothing, totally nothing. Krishna did pranama, "Prabhu, you should go." They embraced each other and then Krishna returned to His home.
But Sudama Vipra thought, "He is brahmanda-deva, my friend, bosom friend. He has not given anything. It is better for me. If He has given anything, any property, anything, He can give easily, but I will be in false ego and thus my bhakti will be ruined. So Krishna is very, very merciful that He never gave anything to me." Anyhow, thinking only this, 'Krishna is how merciful. He wants that we should have bhakti, nothing else.' Thinking the mercy of Krishna.
In the evening he returned to his home. He was looking for his home, but he saw that, 'Where is my hut?' He had a very simple hut. How beautiful? In rainy season, all water pouring in his house, not going outside. Why? And no rice in his house. He had nothing to eat there.
Air coming from outside. Everywhere he looked, "Oh, where my hut has gone? Who has built here so many palatial buildings? 16,108. Where is my cow?" His cow was how beautiful? Only a skeleton like that brahmin, nothing else, no milk. "Where is my cow? Here all are kamadhenu. Instead of that old cow. Perhaps I have missed my way, wrong way I have come. This is not my hut and my things. Oh, what to do?"
In the meantime he saw that from one of the beautiful top palaces, beautiful, teenaged, some girls were coming. In their hands, beautiful garment and so many things. And a most beautiful lady came forward, and he was going back. "Why they are coming to me? And with so many sakhis? And doing some kirtana?" He was in so much shame. But forcibly that girl, very beautiful among them, so much decorated, her breasts, oh, very beautiful, waist very thin, very beautiful looking, dressed so highly like queens, she came and she touched Sudama. She was recognizing that this is my husband. In the night what became? Miracle. Krishna saw that, "This brahmin has nothing. His wife has begged some broken rice and he has brought, taking donation from others. What should I give? If I am giving My whole universe, all the wealth of the whole universe, I cannot repay this brahmin. But this brahmin has begged for Me. So what can I give? If I am giving whole wealth and everything, but even I cannot repay this brahmin."
So when he was sleeping, what He gave? There were 16,108 queens. They gave, each one, one palace to the brahmin, and each one gave one kamadhenu, and each one gave one horse, very beautiful, elephants, and so much wealth, each one gave one servant. So how many servants? Everything was there. Like if a farmer wants water and his crops are drying, and he was sleeping, praying Krishna, 'Please shower rain, otherwise my crops will dry.' And he was sleeping. In the morning what he saw? Water falling so much, falling from sky, and all his fields are filled with water, and he became very happy. So Krishna in night, He gave all to this brahmin, though brahmin never wanted anything.
So you should have strong faith in Krishna. Be like Sudama, niskincana, don't want anything from Krishna. And then you will see that Krishna will give Himself to you. As He has told to gopis. What told?
na paraye 'ham niravadya-samyujam
sva-sadhu-krtyam vibudhayusapi vah
ya mabhajan durjaya-geha-srnkhalah
samvrscya tad vah pratiyatu sadhuna
["O gopis, I am not able to repay My debt for your spotless service, even within a lifetime of Brahma. Your connection with Me is beyond reproach. You have worshiped Me, cutting off all domestic ties, which are difficult to break. Therefore please let your own glorious deeds be your compensation." (BBT)]
"I cannot repay you. How can I?"
"Oh, You can repay", gopis are telling. "You can repay because You are telling something and Paurnamasi is telling, 'You are Lord of Lord, You are Supreme Lord.' Why You cannot?"
"How? You have left your father, mother, husband, children, your shame, your varnasrama dharma, everything you have left for Me. But I cannot leave anyone. I cannot leave Nanda and Yasoda. I cannot leave anyone of My devotees, whether they are in Dvaraka or anywhere else in the world. I cannot give up Draupadi, I cannot give up Pandavas, that elephant Gajendra or anyone, I cannot. So I cannot give up you. Your wholesale love and affection you have given to Me, but My love and affection is divided in so many fractions. In Dvaraka, how much? To all wives. One wife, having ten sons and one daughter. How much? So many devotees there are."
So Krishna cannot give His love and affection fully to any special gopi. So Krishna is telling, "Be pleased that you are so humble. I cannot repay you. Even for a lifetime, long, long life, like demigods, like Brahma even, I cannot."
Then gopis told, "You are so humble that You are accepting this that, 'I cannot repay.' So we have been defeated and You have won."
Very good subject. I wanted to tell some secrets of Srimad-Bhagavatam. I am not satisfied by what we are doing, devotion for Krishna. I want that we should know more and more, so I wanted to tell you. Now I am telling only for beginners. Even for beginners of beginners. So you should also be satisfied. I will try to tell something tomorrow. We have last day tomorrow for here. And again we will meet. I will try to explain all these things. You should not be satisfied with what you are doing. Never. You are doing nothing actually. But Krishna and we think, "Oh, you are doing so much." So you should never be satisfied with this bhakti and try to increase in love and affection. And be more qualified. Engage your whole energy in Krishna to fulfill the desire of Krishna.